Bleh blah

Some days (like today) I like to get down on myself and ask what I am doing with my life. I mean honestly. I am a 25 year old woman in grad school who will most likely be unable to get a job after graduation unless she goes on for a PhD. While the thought of this is enjoyable, I am not quite sure I am ready to put my personal life on hold for another 5-6 years in order to get the education. But the job openings available are only for PhDs or ABDs (All But Dissertation). So what am I going to do with my life? No clue. Should be fun no? I know I don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the perfect job to come along.

Then there is Derek. I am sure if I was willing to travel outside of the state and start working I could find a job on some level, but I am not willing to do so just to have an adjunct position and still have to work two jobs for the next 5-10 years of my life. Can I just stay in the world of academia? I know the answer is yes but it also comes with a lot of complications. Derek has been pretty forthcoming with his agreement that if a doctoral program is what I want to do, then I should go for it. But six years is a lot of time. And the school I am desperate to attend is in Kansas. So where does that put us in the next six years? Every time I try to bring this up, he says "we will talk about it when we get to that point." I know he is just trying to be supportive but sometimes that makes it worse. I don't want him to give up his life so I can fulfill my dreams. I don't want him to resent me for taking him away from his family (should he choose to come with me). But I know I don't want to be away from him for six years either.

So I am pretty much at the point in my life where I don't know what to do. Which leads to days like today. I had the opportunity to get so much work done and what did I do? I napped for 3 hours. I am so anxious and stressed about the next three months of my life I don't know what to do. Comps are nine weeks from Saturday. I haven't even started studying. I want to pull my hair out already. I want to throw a tantrum. I want to curl in bed and cry. I want someone to tell me it will be okay. I am constantly told "Oh Heather you are stressed now but you work so well under pressure."

I am glad you think so because right now, all I feel like is a wreck.

Self-analysis of learning part 4/4

And last but not least... 

http://www.engr.ncsu.edu/learningstyles/ilsweb.html

Results for: Heather Carnahan ACT X REF 11 9 7 5 3 1 1 3 5 7 9 11 <-- --> SEN X INT 11 9 7 5 3 1 1 3 5 7 9 11 <-- --> VIS X VRB 11 9 7 5 3 1 1 3 5 7 9 11 <-- --> SEQ X GLO 11 9 7 5 3 1 1 3 5 7 9 11 <-- -->

If your score on a scale is 1-3, you are fairly well balanced on the two dimensions of that scale. If your score on a scale is 5-7, you have a moderate preference for one dimension of the scale and will learn more easily in a teaching environment which favors that dimension. If your score on a scale is 9-11, you have a very strong preference for one dimension of the scale. You may have real difficulty learning in an environment which does not support that preference.  ACTIVE AND REFLECTIVE LEARNERS Active learners tend to retain and understand information best by doing something active with it--discussing or applying it or explaining it to others. Reflective learners prefer to think about it quietly first. "Let's try it out and see how it works" is an active learner's phrase; "Let's think it through first" is the reflective learner's response. Active learners tend to like group work more than reflective learners, who prefer working alone. Sitting through lectures without getting to do anything physical but take notes is hard for both learning types, but particularly hard for active learners. Everybody is active sometimes and reflective sometimes. Your preference for one category or the other may be strong, moderate, or mild. A balance of the two is desirable. If you always act before reflecting you can jump into things prematurely and get into trouble, while if you spend too much time reflecting you may never get anything done. How can reflective learners help themselves? If you are a reflective learner in a class that allows little or no class time for thinking about new information, you should try to compensate for this lack when you study. Don't simply read or memorize the material; stop periodically to review what you have read and to think of possible questions or applications. You might find it helpful to write short summaries of readings or class notes in your own words. Doing so may take extra time but will enable you to retain the material more effectively.  SENSING AND INTUITIVE LEARNERS Sensing learners tend to like learning facts, intuitive learners often prefer discovering possibilities and relationships. Sensors often like solving problems by well-established methods and dislike complications and surprises; intuitors like innovation and dislike repetition. Sensors are more likely than intuitors to resent being tested on material that has not been explicitly covered in class. Sensors tend to be patient with details and good at memorizing facts and doing hands-on (laboratory) work; intuitors may be better at grasping new concepts and are often more comfortable than sensors with abstractions and mathematical formulations. Sensors tend to be more practical and careful than intuitors; intuitors tend to work faster and to be more innovative than sensors. Sensors don't like courses that have no apparent connection to the real world; intuitors don't like "plug-and-chug" courses that involve a lot of memorization and routine calculations. Everybody is sensing sometimes and intuitive sometimes. Your preference for one or the other may be strong, moderate, or mild. To be effective as a learner and problem solver, you need to be able to function both ways. If you overemphasize intuition, you may miss important details or make careless mistakes in calculations or hands-on work; if you overemphasize sensing, you may rely too much on memorization and familiar methods and not concentrate enough on understanding and innovative thinking. VISUAL AND VERBAL LEARNERS Visual learners remember best what they see--pictures, diagrams, flow charts, time lines, films, and demonstrations. Verbal learners get more out of words--written and spoken explanations. Everyone learns more when information is presented both visually and verbally. In most college classes very little visual information is presented: students mainly listen to lectures and read material written on chalkboards and in textbooks and handouts. Unfortunately, most people are visual learners, which means that most students do not get nearly as much as they would if more visual presentation were used in class. Good learners are capable of processing information presented either visually or verbally. SEQUENTIAL AND GLOBAL LEARNERS Sequential learners tend to gain understanding in linear steps, with each step following logically from the previous one. Global learners tend to learn in large jumps, absorbing material almost randomly without seeing connections, and then suddenly "getting it." Sequential learners tend to follow logical stepwise paths in finding solutions; global learners may be able to solve complex problems quickly or put things together in novel ways once they have grasped the big picture, but they may have difficulty explaining how they did it. Many people who read this description may conclude incorrectly that they are global, since everyone has experienced bewilderment followed by a sudden flash of understanding. What makes you global or not is what happens before the light bulb goes on. Sequential learners may not fully understand the material but they can nevertheless do something with it (like solve the homework problems or pass the test) since the pieces they have absorbed are logically connected. Strongly global learners who lack good sequential thinking abilities, on the other hand, may have serious difficulties until they have the big picture. Even after they have it, they may be fuzzy about the details of the subject, while sequential learners may know a lot about specific aspects of a subject but may have trouble relating them to different aspects of the same subject or to different subjects. How can global learners help themselves? If you are a global learner, it can be helpful for you to realize that you need the big picture of a subject before you can master details. If your instructor plunges directly into new topics without bothering to explain how they relate to what you already know, it can cause problems for you. Fortunately, there are steps you can take that may help you get the big picture more rapidly. Before you begin to study the first section of a chapter in a text, skim through the entire chapter to get an overview. Doing so may be time-consuming initially but it may save you from going over and over individual parts later. Instead of spending a short time on every subject every night, you might find it more productive to immerse yourself in individual subjects for large blocks. Try to relate the subject to things you already know, either by asking the instructor to help you see connections or by consulting references. Above all, don't lose faith in yourself; you will eventually understand the new material, and once you do your understanding of how it connects to other topics and disciplines may enable you to apply it in ways that most sequential thinkers would never dream of.

Self-analysis of learning part 3/4

http://www.ldrc.ca/projects/miinventory/

Profile for user 927074:

Linguistic	43
Mathematics	34
Visual/Spatial	31
Body/Kinesthetic	31
Naturalistic	29
Music	39
Interpersonal	31
Intrapersonal	42

By this standard, my top three styles of learning are: linguistic, intrapersonal, and music. Interesting...

Eight Styles of Learning

Linguistic Learner

• likes to: read, write and tell stories.
• is good at: memorizing names, places, dates and trivia.
• learns best by: saying, hearing and seeing words.

Logical/Mathematical Learner

• likes to: do experiments, figure things out, work with numbers, ask questions and explore patterns and relationships.
• is good at: math, reasoning, logic and problem solving.
• learns best by: categorizing, classifying and working with abstract patterns/relationships.

Spatial Learner

• likes to: draw, build, design and create things, daydream, look at pictures/slides, watch movies and play with machines.
• is good at: imagining things, sensing changes, mazes/puzzles and reading maps, charts.
• learns best by: visualizing, dreaming, using the mind's eye and working with colors/pictures.

Musical Learner

• likes to: sing, hum tunes, listen to music, play an instrument and respond to music.
• is good at: picking up sounds, remembering melodies, noticing pitches/rhythms and keeping time.
• learns best by: rhythm, melody and music.

Bodily/Kinesthetic Learner

• likes to: move around, touch and talk and use body language.
• is good at: physical activities (sports/dance/acting) and crafts.
• learns best by: touching, moving, interacting with space and processing knowledge through bodily sensations.

Naturalistic Learner

• likes to: be outside, with animals, geography, and weather; interacting with the surroundings .
• is good at: categorizing, organizing a living area, planning a trip, preservation, and conservation.
• learns best by: studying natural phenomenon, in a natural setting, learning about how things work.

Interpersonal Learner

• likes to: have lots of friends, talk to people and join groups.
• is good at: understanding people, leading others, organizing, communicating, manipulating and mediating conflicts.
• learns best by: sharing, comparing, relating, cooperating and interviewing.

Intrapersonal Learner

• likes to: work alone and pursue own interests.
• is good at: understanding self, focusing inward on feelings/dreams, following instincts, pursuing interests/goals and being original.
• learns best by: working alone, individualized projects, self-paced instruction and having own space.

Self-analysis of learning part 2/4

Link to quiz for those interested: http://learningcommons.ubc.ca/what-we-offer/learning-self-assessment/

The only question on this survey that I found difficulty answering would be the final one. Most people would refer to me as a talker but when I am deep in a concept in learning I can be a thinker as well. Interesting either way. :)

When I am part of a discussion on a topic I am somewhat familiar with, I: Jump right into the discussion

You seem to have an active approach to learning. Make sure you use your energy wisely. It may be helpful for you to set up a file on your computer called ideas (keep it in a folder labeled for your course). This is where you can keep track of your ideas as you build on them through active discussion with others. Mindmapping approaches and tools might be appealing to you.

My approach to group work is usually: Reluctance. I wait for others to get organized.

A reflective or theoretical approach to group work is often valuable. You might offer to summarize discussions or pull together the ideas in a coherent way. Refer to our notetaking toolkit for tips on some useful notetaking techniques and tools to support them. You may also want to review our Groupwork Toolkit for suggestions about how to be most effective.

I prefer my instructor to be: Consultative. Be available to me but let me choose my own approach.

You appear to be self directed in your approach to learning. You will want to decide on some personal learning objectives/ project themes early and check these out with your instructor to ensure you are on the right track. Review our tips for working with professors and TAs for more suggestions.

I prefer my peers to: Offer a diverse range of experiences.

One of the greatest benefits of online group work is the potential for a diverse range of experiences and life contexts within a group. Your peers may be across the campus or across the world. Your appreciation of diversity help you to have a positive experience with group processes.

When approaching a new learning experience or technology, I typically: Feel impatient with myself when I don't learn it quickly.

Frustration and anxiety can be high when trying to learn with a new technology while on a deadline. Remember to ask for help when you need it. This can often save you time.

In thinking about my goals for learning today, the most important thing for me is to: Get excellent grades to provide me with future opportunities.

At this point, your motivation for learning is very much assessment driven. This is a pragmatic approach. It will be important for you to be clear about the expectations for the course and to add time into your study schedule for self assessment- to ensure you are learning what you need to learn in order to achieve your goals. You may want to review our section on The Reflection Process to help you clarify the steps you may need to take to reach your goals.

I most often approach brainstorming activities by: Sharing my ideas with others.

You likely approach new learning from an activist perspective. You may find that you will benefit through the use of real time chat or instant messaging to communicate with peers or your instructor on collaborative projects. This way of communicating tends to lend itself to a quick sharing of ideas and brainstorming on a particular issue. You might also benefit from tools and groups that will give you the chance to share with others.

When I need more information, I usually: discuss my questions with as many people as possible.

You are likely action oriented in your approach to learning and will benefit with involvement in collaborative learning situations and group projects. You might also benefit from tools and groups that will give you the chance to share with others.

In dealing with a roadblock, either technical, academic or personal, I tend to: Push through until I have solved the problem - usually with help from others.

You are likely very practical in your approach to learning. The upside is that you may often be highly productive. The downside is that you may be impatient and rush projects through. You may benefit from taking a step back, looking at the problem when you can devote some time to thinking about it and discussing with others. You may also benefit from reviewing some of our tips on coping with stress .

When I am learning something new, I prefer: theories that challenge my ways of thinking about something.

You likely approach learning from a more abstract or theoretical perspective. You may benefit greatly from involvement in learning activities or projects which challenge your current ways of thinking and encourage you discuss your thoughts with others who may hold very different opinions. You may want to check out some options for club involvement or community service learning to get the most out of your university experience.

In describing me, my closest friends and relations would describe me as: a talker

Talkers typically have a high need for social interaction and learn a lot through discussion with others. Online or in person discussion or study groups are great resources for talkers. Talkers may also benefit by practicing listening and observation skills as well. Good teachers and facilitators require these skills as well.

Self-analysis of learning part 1/4

So I am taking a pedagogy course this semester that requires us to take into account our own learning styles in order to better communicate and work with others that have styles different to that of our own. I have taken similar surveys online to no avail. However, I took the one required for the class this evening and was FLOORED at the extent that I was being described. I have to say I am pretty excited to see the results of the other three we are supposed to take will say (we can choose from seven). I am posting it here because I will need it later in the week for a self assessment and because I don't want to forget later where I am already coming from as a learner. If you would like to read about me, please feel free to read and learn a little bit more. I included the link to the survey at the bottom of the post in case you are interested in taking the survey yourself. I thought it was interesting to see that (at least on the Jung spectrum) my personality is a rare one and one that is not easily understood to those who do not have a similar personality. Cool no? 

 Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging

by Marina Margaret Heiss

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

Information about the INFJ personality type from typelogic.com/infj.html after taking this survey: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Costa Rica bound.

Proof that I have not completely fallen off the face of the Earth: I am updating my lovely blog from my hotel in San Jose, Costa Rica. We arrived at about 1:00 today and managed to get groceries and some food. My first meal here? Burger King. That's right ladies and gentlemen; Burger King.

I have high hopes for this trip but I guess we will see how things go in the next couple of days. My grandmother has been ill since leaving Bloomington and we are waiting to see how she is feeling tomorrow and the next day. There is an festival in Santa Cruz that starts on Friday that I really want to go to. They will even have bullfights there! And while it is not technically in Pamplona, I think seeing a bullfight in general is something I will be able to cross off my bucket list.

Mom wants to check out the pool and hot tub so this post is to be continued...